Well here is me essay for my blog post…Enjoy :)              

            

Why Do You Expect Me?

     "The standards others have for you will  ruin your soul, and yet it will MAKE you and MAKE yourself find the REAL you."-Kalea Pauole  There are three words the natural man loves to hear they are: my, mine, and me. Three little words that pertain only to one's self, their life, their religion, their family, and most importantly  their choices. Every teenager at some point realizes something. Something that is a rite-of-passage,  a super amazing realization of how little their standards, and their wants are put in play versus the expectations and standards of others around them for that teen. Sure, it's the teens choice but is it really their choice? No, and then the teenager realizes that gosh darn, it is their life, they are in charge, and being older they have more freedom.The parents, teachers, and  family members have less and less power in how decisions for the teen are made. The author Amy Tan wrote a story called Two-Kinds. Two-Kinds covers that realization all teenagers have.  I have had that rite-of-passage realization and, this is my story. This is my experiences leading up to that realization, the realization and the aftermath.

Typically when  family members tell you that something doesn’t match or looks weird they have their best interest in mind no matter how much you are offended. However, there are times when I absolutly love the way my hair is done or  I love they way I put my outfit together and my mom and my older sister will say something like “ You are doing your hair like that?”, “That looks weird”, or even “I don’t think you match today”. There were a lot of times that I when I liked the way I looked but because my sister or my mom or even my little brother said something about my outfit I would change it because what I was wearing didnt fit their standards. I relied on my family for too long about what how I looked. Jing-Mei in the book Two-Kinds had the same problem. Jing-Mei let her mom change her and try to transform her into a child prodigy. Jing-Mei just like me slowly began to realize that it was her life and although her mom had some of the blame Jing-Mei had the power to sever the cord.

Very slowly over the years of began to realize I have the choice, that  it is my call. There have been times when meet my mother will disagree on different things and the majority of those times those things are because I exercised my opinion or I exercised my right to make a choice via action and, it became a bit of a problem for me and my mom . One night in the beginning of June I was talking to my dad.That night something he said really hit me. He said this "your mother and I are getting to the point where we can no longer tell you what to do." That single particular sentence felt like I was hit with the cannon that had knocked the wind out of me as to have a sudden realization. My dad then continued on "you guys are at the age(talking about me and my older sister) where you make your own choices, mine and mom’s job now is to give you all the information you need to make educated and well informed choices. Whatever those choices are we  will respect it". At that moment it felt like I had been liberated. Sure we are all free to make our own choices, but I was at the age where I can make choices no one can't tell me know or, tell me that I'm not allowed to make that choice. Not only did those simple sentences make me realize that I was my own person , but that I was my own person who got to make choices without being bossed around or being forced into something. That freedom that I had felt  like it was fabricated, like it was a real literal object. After getting upset with her mom Jing-Meir felt the same way. She felt as though she has been liberated and she  realized that it was her life and she could do whatever she wanted to do. Jing-Mei and I relate in the way that we both had the expierience when we truly felt free and realized that it it really is our life, our choices, and we owned it.

    The aftermath... Once I realized I had that I actually had the power. I was at the age where I can make my own conscious informed decisions, and was like night and day for me. Sure, the freedom came slowly and gradually. However, once I realized I had it, the choice was mine. I was not afraid to use my new found freedom and make sure that the choices made  were originally mine, and mine alone. Jing-Mei realized that when she looked in the mirror. She realized that her mom could not make her into something that she was not. While Jing-Mei’s mom can have as many expectations as she wants, Jing-Mei realized that she had the choice to live up to those expectations. Jing-Mei didn’t like those expectations so she  used her freedom  to make her own choices.  Jing-Mei and I both felt liberated from  expectations  of loved ones.  We realized that we don’t have to please or amount up to anyone else’s expectations but ourselves.The aftermath...Jing-Mei and I both felt happy!

In conclusion Jing-Mei and I relate and connect because we both had that experience that made us realize that it really is our life and our choices. We liberated ourselves from the standards of others by simply realizing that we don't have to please anyone but ourselves. We freed ourselves from the part of us that said we had to be everything everybody else wants us to be. We felt the pressure of the incline leading up to the massive realization that we are free. Jing-Mei bathed in the enjoyment after she discovered her freedom.  Jing-Mei and I discovered that we were compromising our happiness over others happiness. All in all, Jing-Mei and I realized that the expectations others have for us doesn’t  matter, because we are happy!

*Discretion, I did not mean anything against my parents(especially my mom). I just used examples from my life to relate to Jing-Mei